Survivor Voices: 7 Ways Domestic Violence Doesn’t Discriminate


The following piece was written by a member of our Survivor Speakers Bureau. Here, in her own words, is what she wants you to know about domestic violence.

OK, Here goes…Are you ready? Let’s talk about something super important that not enough people realize…Domestic violence is NOT discriminatory. It’s shocking, I know – but it is true.

I mean, have you ever heard someone say:

…I can’t believe that happened in my neighborhood…

…This type of thing doesn’t happen here…

…but he was such a nice guy…

…she seemed to have everything going for her…

…did you hear the way that he talked to her…

…he/she reads my texts and emails…

It still amazes me how many times I have heard snippets of conversations or seen a mark on someone and wonder where things are headed. I know I am not the only one who sees the flags.

So, when I say that domestic violence isn’t discriminatory, I mean it. Let me lay it out for you –

  •  Domestic Violence doesn’t care what you look like. It is blind! You could be short or tall; Have blue eyes or brown; your race doesn’t matter – neither does your dress size. No matter how well put-together you may look to the world, or if you are barely holding it together, domestic violence doesn’t see you.
  •  Domestic violence doesn’t care how old you are. You could be in your first relationship as a teen or later on in years. You are never too old for it to overwhelm you.
  • Domestic violence doesn’t look to see where you live before it invades your life. It is in every town, city, state, country. It can infest a rundown apartment or a mansion on the hill. It infiltrates under a cloak of fear, not matter how clean and sterile a place may seem.
  •  Domestic violence doesn’t concern itself with religion. Shrouded in lies, it weaves its way into every peaceful and loving doctrine.
  • Domestic violence doesn’t look the other way when it comes to sex & sexual orientation. Male/female/gay/straight – none are immune to its cunning ways.
  • Domestic violence speaks every language. There is no language out there that hasn’t been translated into weapons.
  •  Domestic violence ignores your success. No accolades, raises or degrees can keep you from its grip.


Domestic violence has been secretly woven into society, hidden & protected by the masks of shame, fear and deception. If you look closely – you will see it. If you listen – you will hear it. If you close your eyes – you can imagine it, feel it, you may even be living it.

It is time we put the spotlight on domestic violence. Fear and hatred thrive in darkness and it is up to all of us to shine it out. So look for ways to get involved with REACH in your community or through financial support. Reach your hand out to help someone in need, and the world will get a little bit brighter (both yours and theirs). I know mine has.